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15 Divorce Mediation Tips and Tricks: Remain Peaceful
While entering divorce mediation with your ex-spouse is generally less stressful than litigation, it’s not without its own hurdles. At the foremost, you both must understand that mediation is a collaborative process. To make your session proceed more smoothly, knowing some divorce mediation tips and tricks may help demystify and simplify the process.
The divorce mediators at Peaceful Separation and Divorce explain these 15 divorce mediation tips and tricks to get the best results for you and your family.
- Understand the Purpose of Divorce Mediation
- Stay Active During the Mediation Process
- Prepare to Compromise & Negotiate
- List Out Concerns or Issues Important to You
- Set Aside Your Emotions
- Stay Honest with Your Mediator
- Talk with Your Children
- Establish Your Priorities & Goals
- List Out All Marital Assets and Debts
- Use a Divorce Mediation Checklist
- Update Your Estate Plan
- Plan a Mediation Budget
- Speak With Your Divorce Lawyer
- Remain Open to Suggestions
- Find the Right Divorce Mediator
Call Peaceful Separation and Divorce today if you and your spouse are considering divorce mediation in Philadelphia
We have helped Philadelphia area families get through divorce more amicably for over forty years, and we can help guide you through a successful divorce mediation.
Tip 1: Understand the Purpose of Divorce Mediation
The first divorce mediation tip to remember is to understand the purpose behind choosing mediation over litigation. Mediation is a collaborative process rather than a combative one. As such, it can be much less stressful and emotionally exhausting from beginning to end.
The divorce mediation process allows you and your spouse to resolve the issues arising from your divorce with the help of a neutral third-party divorce mediator. Your divorce mediator is trained in negotiation techniques that help you and your spouse find solutions right for your family. A successful divorce mediation can result in you and your spouse arriving at a fair agreement.
Tip 2: Stay Active During the Mediation Process
Proceeding with a divorce via mediation can be tiring and emotionally draining. Some participants can disengage and end up agreeing to resolutions to expedite the divorce process. It is important to remain active and involved during each divorce mediation session as you may end up agreeing to terms you are unhappy with later, such as part of your alimony, child support, child custody, and property division discussions.
Tip 3: Prepare to Compromise & Negotiate
Divorce mediation is an alternative to divorce litigation, which is adversarial and leaves the ultimate decisions to a judge. By using divorce mediation, you and your spouse control the process and the outcome but must work with each other, with the help of the divorce mediator, to arrive at a compromise.
Tip 4: List Out Concerns or Issues Important to You
Every marriage is different, but the common issues addressed and resolved in mediation can include the following:
- Child custody;
- Child custody schedule;
- Child support;
- Alimony;
- Spousal support; and
- Distribution of marital property and debt.
Tip 5: Set Aside Your Emotions
You may be feeling angry or resentful due to the reasons for your divorce, but you must put those feelings aside as best you can, and focus on your future in order for divorce mediation to be successful. If you are struggling with your emotions, consider talking with a therapist. Avoid acting on your feelings during divorce mediation. You can rely on your divorce mediator to help maintain a calm, collaborative atmosphere.
Tip 6: Stay Honest with Your Mediator
Divorcing your spouse essentially involves ending a painful relationship with the goal of starting a new chapter of your life. To accomplish this goal, you need to be honest with your mediator with regard to the terms of your divorce. Stated simply, a mediator cannot guide you and your spouse toward an amicable resolution if they do not understand or do not know the facts of your economic relationship with your spouse. Full disclosure of all pertinent information is critical.
Tip 7: Talk with Your Children
Your children may have preferences regarding child custody, and depending upon their ages and ability to form a mature opinion, those preferences may play a part in mediating child custody. This may help you and your spouse negotiate a parenting plan. Your children’s preferences may also help you and your spouse reach common ground.
Tip 8: Establish Your Priorities & Goals
Divorce mediation is a negotiation process, meaning you will give some and get some. You should treat mediation like a business negotiation and be prepared to give up other things in exchange for meeting your priorities. You may have a handful of must-haves, such as keeping and living in the marital home or retaining primary custody of the children. Remember, there are many ways to examine an issue, and as such, many variations to be discussed and considered.
Tip 9: List Out All Marital Assets and Debts
Your divorce mediator will likely give you forms for this, but in preparation for divorce mediation you should identify and list all assets, including real estate, bank and investment accounts, pension accounts, and unrealized assets such as stock options, and all debts, including mortgage, credit cards, and student loans to address financial issues that should be discussed during mediation. These must be equitably divided between you and your spouse. While this may be time-consuming, obtaining accurate financial information helps to facilitate the process.
Tip 10: Use a Divorce Mediation Checklist
A divorce mediation checklist helps you gather all of the information and documentation you need to equitably divide your property and debts and determine child support and spousal support. Additionally, a checklist allows you to provide relevant information to your mediator in an efficient manner.
Tip 11: Update Your Estate Plan
If applicable, everyone who gets divorced should update their life insurance beneficiaries and beneficiaries to their bank accounts, investment accounts, and pension. If you have a will, update it. Support obligors may want to take out life insurance to ensure an uninterrupted income stream of income for support obligees. While this office does not perform estate planning, we can refer the parties to an appropriate attorney to complete these services.
Tip 12: Plan a Mediation Budget
Your divorce mediator will explain the costs of divorce mediation, which are usually divided between you and your former spouse unless one of you has little or no income. Be prepared to pay your portion by including that expense in your budget.
Tip 13: Speak with Your Divorce Lawyer
If you feel unsure or are concerned you may not understand any agreements that are being proposed during divorce mediation, you are free to consult with a divorce attorney before you sign any agreement. Remember, a divorce mediator is neutral and cannot give you legal advice. Speaking with a divorce attorney outside of mediation ensures your legal rights are respected and protected, and that you fully understand what is being proposed..
Tip 14: Remain Open to Suggestions
Due to the emotionally stressful nature of a divorce, people often harden their positions and views. A successful mediation requires you to focus on the big picture, keep an open mind, and listen to suggestions. Stated simply, your mediator may offer advice which allows you to obtain the result you seek, but by a different method than you originally intended.
Tip 15: Find the Right Divorce Mediator
Talk with friends who have gone through divorce mediation, and use the internet to find the right divorce mediator for you. You can also ask a family law attorney to refer you to a mediator.
Speak with a Philadelphia Divorce Mediator Today
You may have heard divorce mediation is quicker and less expensive than litigating your divorce in court. However, the greatest advantage of divorce mediation is you and your spouse work together in good faith to solve the issues arising from your divorce rather than letting a judge resolve them for you.
For personalized guidance from an experienced divorce mediation lawyer who successfully navigated alternative divorce methods for over years call the divorce mediators at Peaceful Separation today.
6 COMMENTS
John Carston
July 7, 2022, 2:51 am REPLYIt helped when you mentioned that you should be aware of your budget when the process starts. My cousin told me the other night that he was having issues with his wife because she doesn’t want him to see my nephew, and he asked if I had any idea what would be the best option to do. Thanks to this informative article, I’ll tell him that it will be much better if he consults a trusted divorce mediation service as they can answer all his inquiries and will surely help him.
Braden Bills
July 14, 2022, 2:47 pm REPLYMy friend and his wife want to get a divorce, but they don’t want it to end up in court. It makes sense that a mediator would be beneficial. That way, they can have someone in the middle who can hear out both sides.
Jessie Holloway
August 11, 2022, 3:10 pm REPLYThanks so much for talking about how a Mediator can be beneficial in decision-making. My aunt and uncle are getting divorced and need to agree and decide on many different assets they share. They’ve been looking into going to a mediator to ensure they get a fair division of their assets.
Tex Hooper
August 17, 2022, 12:49 am REPLYI agree that you should get a mediation checklist going. I need to make sure that my sister can safely divorce her husband. I’ll have to hire her the best lawyer in town.
Daisy James
January 12, 2023, 6:31 pm REPLYIt was helpful when you said to make a checklist so you can provide relevant information. My sister was at my house last night for dinner, and she talked about how she and her husband want to get a divorce, and they want to look into seeing a mediator for it. I’ll pass these tips along to her once they find a divorce mediator to go to!