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How To Prepare For Divorce Mediation: What To Expect
Peaceful Separation and Divorce offers mediation planning, in the same way that your financial planner offers financial planning. It is best to prepare before your divorce, custody, pre- or post-nuptial mediation process. . Below are five things you can do to ensure your mediation process goes smoothly:
- SPEAK TO YOUR PARTNER ABOUT MEDIATION. Not everyone is familiar with mediation and how family law matters can be effectively resolved by a trained mediator. Mediation is the opposite of an individually represented process. In mediation, we strive for peace and compromise. An individually represented process is a process of position and demand. If you and your spouse are hoping to speak to each other about both of your needs without being positional, mediation is right for you. Express to your partner that you are hoping to respectfully and peacefully discuss issues that need to be resolved. If your partner agrees, then contact a mediator to find out how the process works.
- FIND A MEDIATOR. How do you find a trained, experienced mediator? There are people who advertise themselves as mediators, but have never been trained. Ask your prospective mediator two questions. First, have they taken the 40-hour family law mediation training? This is the minimum formal training any mediator should have. Second, for how many years have they been mediating family law matters? Be protective of your process–choose a trained mediator who has been mediating for some time.
- GATHER YOUR DOCUMENTS. If your process involves divorce, gather tax returns, account statements, retirement statements, and recent statements regarding debt, including credit cards, student and other loans and mortgage balances. If your process involves a pre-nuptial agreement, the same documents may be necessary. A custody process or support process requires other documents. A mediator can advise you on what documents need to be presented.
- BE IN A PLACE OF FULL DISCLOSURE, COMPROMISE AND FINDING A DEAL BOTH PARTIES CAN LIVE WITH. Mediation is about compromise, and involves listening and understanding your needs and the needs of the other party. Both parties need to “keep their eyes on the ball”. Being positional about your needs can quickly sabotage the mediation process. Mediation participants are “qualified” by a trained mediator at the beginning of the process, as not everyone has the mindset to succeed in mediation.
- COME TO YOUR MEDIATION SESSIONS PREPARED. Your mediator will do work between your sessions to keep the mediation process moving. . You will also be given “homework” to do between sessions. During the mediation process, the participants and the mediator must do this “homework” to ensure a smooth resolution.
Mediation is a wonderful process when it works smoothly. Contact us so we can give you more information.
