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9 Child Custody Mediation Tips to Help You Succeed
Arguably, child custody is the most emotionally difficult issue to resolve during a divorce or family law dispute. Unlike the formal litigation process, which is inherently adversarial, mediation offers parents a cooperative, non-confrontational approach to develop mutually agreeable solutions jointly. While mediation is less expensive and time-consuming than litigation, negotiating a favorable agreement still requires preparation. Following certain child custody mediation tips and strategies can help you prepare for the process and stay on track with what’s best for your family.
The Philadelphia child custody mediators at Peaceful Separation & Divorce have prepared these child custody mediation tips to guide you through successful sessions while ensuring your child’s best interests are at the forefront.
1. Always Prioritize Your Child’s Needs & Well-Being
A common and easy mistake people make during a child custody dispute is turning the process into a personal or ego-driven battle. When mediating a custody dispute, you should focus on your child’s health and well-being. You should listen to your children and tailor your approach towards negotiations and settlement decisions to provide the best environment for your child’s growth and happiness.
2. Know What Goes Into Child Custody Mediation Sessions
Understanding the process is key, and you should know what goes into that process before attending your first child custody mediation session. Mediation involves you and your spouse developing joint solutions with the assistance of a neutral mediator. This will allow you to engage in productive discussions while avoiding the mistake of turning mediation into a mini-child custody trial.
3. Understand Your Local Laws
Under Pennsylvania law ((§5328(a) of the Custody Statute in Pennsylvania), courts decide custody based on the best interest of the child standard. This means a judge, if this matter were to be litigated and not mediated, will decide which parent is better suited to caring for a child. Knowing this law is crucial for making informed decisions and presenting a strong case during mediation.
4. Consider the Different Types of Custody
Multiple types of custody arrangements are available under Pennsylvania law ((§5323 of the Custody Statute in Pennsylvania). Instead of turning mediation into a zero-sum game, you should explore the various available custody options, such as one custodial parent with primary custody, sole custody or a shared legal and physical custody arrangement. Determine what arrangement best aligns with your child’s needs and your and your former spouse’s capabilities as parents.
5. Understand That a Bad Spouse Doesn’t Make a Bad Parent
Being hostile towards your former spouse is natural, especially if they were unfaithful or emotionally distant during your marriage. However, it is essential to recognize they may be a good parent despite having been a poor spouse. This can allow you to avoid attempting to punish them and instead focus on providing a loving and nurturing environment for your child.
6. Keep Your Emotions Under Control
Interacting with a former spouse or partner is understandably stressful, especially during a child custody discussion. It is essential to maintain composure and emotional balance during mediation. Clear thinking and effective communication are vital in representing a child’s best interests.
7. Communicate Clearly
Effective communication is paramount. Focus on clearly communicating your goals and positions as opposed to expressing any lingering anger or frustrations. Articulate your thoughts, concerns, and plans clearly to the mediator, showcasing your ability to co-parent amicably and make informed decisions.
8. Prepare a Parenting Plan Proposal Ahead of Time
Parents are required by Pennsylvania law ((§5331 of the Custody Statute in Pennsylvania) to develop parenting plans during a child custody dispute. This is also helpful in mediation. A well-prepared proposal can be very helpful during mediation. Specifically, your proposed parenting plan can serve as the initial starting point for settlement discussions, allowing you to set the initial conditions and tone for any remaining mediation sessions. Consider your spouse’s desires and needs. Look to arrive at an arrangement that meets the needs of the children and the expectations of the parents.
9. Stay Honest During Your Mediation Sessions
Honesty is the foundation of a successful custody mediation process. Be transparent about your intentions and capabilities as a parent. This will allow you to build trust and credibility with the other parent and the mediator.
Talk with an Experienced Philadelphia Child Custody Mediator
Are you searching for an alternative method to resolve your child custody disputes? Mediation provides a constructive and family-focused approach to resolving child custody matters, reaching out to a divorce mediation lawyer can be helpful, to learn more about the mediation process and how it can work for you, contact us today for a free consultation!
