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What is Divorce Mediation?: Avoid Courtrooms & Legal Fees

Divorce Mediation Defined & Explained

You’ve probably heard divorce mediation is quicker and less expensive than litigating against your spouse in court. This is true, but what exactly is divorce mediation and is it right for you?

In this comprehensive article, the divorce mediators at Peaceful Separation explain what divorce mediation is, the benefits of divorce mediation, how to determine whether divorce mediation is for you, the process of divorce mediation and other procedural aspects of divorce mediation, the cost of divorce mediation, and how to find the right divorce mediator for you.

If you are ready to meet with a divorce mediator, call Peaceful Separation and Divorce. Use our more than 40 years of experience in alternative dispute resolution methods to mediate your divorce and get the best results for your family.

Divorce Mediation Definition

Divorce mediation is an alternative dispute resolution method allowing divorcing couples to negotiate solutions to the issues arising from their divorce with the help of a trained, neutral third party, and avoid the stress and cost of litigation. 

Any and all issues can be resolved in divorce mediation, including child custody and visitation, spousal support, alimony, child support, and division of marital property and debts.

Why Choose Mediation Instead of Litigation

Going through mediation has a number of benefits over a litigated divorce. A successful mediation is much less expensive than litigating against your spouse, takes place on your schedule, and resolves issues in a collaborative way rather than an adversarial way, taking charge of their lives during and following divorce rather than leaving it up to a judge to decide.

This divorce process is especially valuable for couples who have children and want to work together to parent those children. Mediation also is invaluable if parties do not have children, but have other issues to resolve.

Is Divorce Mediation Right For You?

Divorce mediation is not for all couples going through divorce. The following situations may preclude choosing divorce mediation:

• One spouse does not want to divorce
• There is a history of domestic violence
• One spouse is domineering or bullying
• Either or both spouses are hiding or wasting marital assets
• One spouse blames the other for the divorce
• Either or both spouses remain angry or resentful about the divorce
• The divorcing spouses cannot communicate effectively for any reason
• Either spouse does not want to communicate for any reason

The Divorce Mediation Process

Find a Divorce Mediator

To begin divorce mediation you must find the right divorce mediator for you. Not every person advertising divorce mediation services has the same training, certifications, or experience – be sure to check that your divorce mediator is qualified.

When you meet with your divorce mediator, they will begin by explaining the process and how they can help you. Ask questions if you have them, as this initial discussion is your chance you get to determine whether that divorce mediator is someone you can and want to work with. 

The bottom line is you and your spouse must feel comfortable discussing sensitive issues with your mediator and confident that they can help you resolve them.

Gathering Information 

Once retained, your divorce mediator gives you a list of documents and information they need to help you mediate your divorce. These may include the following, among others:

• Pay stubs
• Tax returns
• Bank, pension, and brokerage account statements
• Mortgage statement
• Car loan or lease statements
• Student loan statements
• Credit card statements
• Personal expenses
• Household expenses
• Children’s expenses
• Appraisals of marital property such as real property, jewelry, vehicles, art, collectibles

Introduction and Opening Statement

Whether you retain a divorce mediator privately or are assigned one by the court, your mediator begins the first session formally with an introduction identifying themselves, discussing the process and the reasons you are meeting.

Framing the Issues Within Your Divorce

You and your spouse identify the issues arising from your divorce for the divorce mediator. These may include child custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, alimony, and distribution of marital property. 

After identifying the general issues, your divorce mediator may suggest beginning with one of the issues, and discussion and guided negotiations begin.

Negotiating 

Your divorce mediator helps you and your spouse find creative and mutually acceptable ways to resolve the issues arising from your divorce, while teaching you how to talk with each other in a productive way.

Drafting an Agreement 

Once you have reached an agreement on the terms of your divorce, your divorce mediator drafts a comprehensive agreement you file with the court.

How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?

Divorce mediation takes as long as it needs to, and that time depends upon how many issues you must resolve, how willing you and your spouse are to negotiate, and how complex the issues are. Regardless of the complexity of the issues or the length of time it takes to discuss and resolve them, mediation remains quicker and less expensive than litigation in court.

Mediation may necessarily take longer in high asset value divorces, where one or both spouses own a business, when marital property includes real estate holdings in different states or countries, or when the couples has unrealized assets such as stock options, because your mediator may need to consult mutually agreed upon experts to appraise assets and assess the tax consequences of various ways of dividing marital property. 

What is the Average Cost of Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation usually costs couples between $3,000 and $6,000, and the cost is shared  between them. Several factors affect the cost of divorce mediation including the number of sessions, asset complexity, and child custody.

Tips For Your Divorce Mediation 

Try to Remain Emotionally Neutral

Although you may feel sad, angry, or resentful due to the reasons for your divorce, your divorce mediation is not the appropriate venue to air your grievances or try to punish your spouse. Consider divorce mediation as a business meeting, and conduct yourself as a professional, detached, yet invested party who wants to efficiently and effectively discuss options and arrive at the best results for your family going forward.  

Commit to Being Open to Compromise

You may have a firm idea of how much support you are willing to pay or what the visitation schedule should be. While you should enter into mediation with your ideal result, you must be open to the solutions your mediator suggests having heard your spouse’s ideas. Chances are the three of you will create a better solution than either of you could come up with on your own. Think of mediation as issues driven, rather than results driven. 

Is Mediation a Requirement in Divorce?

 Generally not. Divorce mediation is but one option a couple can choose to resolve the issues arising from their divorce.

Speak with a Philadelphia Divorce Mediator Today

If you and your spouse are considering divorce mediation in Philadelphia, For personalized guidance from an experienced divorce mediation lawyer who successfully navigated alternative divorce methods for over years. Call the Peaceful Separation today.  We look forward to helping your family.