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What to Expect from Your Divorce Mediation Sessions

You might have heard divorce mediation takes much less time and money than litigation, and that is true. Divorce mediation also allows you and your spouse to determine how your family lives going forward, without a judge telling you what to do. But, understanding the full breadth of what to expect from divorce mediation is more involved.

In this helpful article, the Philadelphia divorce mediators at Peaceful Separation and Divorce explain what you can expect in divorce mediation, the role of a mediator in divorce mediation, how divorce mediation proceeds, how to prepare for divorce mediation, issues you can resolve in divorce mediation, and how a successful divorce mediation ends and what you get out of it.

If you and your spouse are considering divorce mediation, call Peaceful Separation and Divorce. Our divorce mediators have helped Philadelphia couples mediate their divorces for over 25 years. We can help you too.

Guided Discussion & Negotiation

What is divorce mediation? Divorce mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution (ADR), so called because it is a collaborative alternative to litigation, which is adversarial.

A Neutral & Professional Divorce Mediator

Discussion and negotiation of the issues arising from your divorce are guided and facilitated by a trained neutral third party, your divorce mediator.

Be sure to select a divorce mediator trained specifically in ADR. Many divorce attorneys offer mediation among their family law services, but are untrained.

The Divorce Mediation Process

1. You and your spouse decide to mediate your divorce;
2. You identify and retain the right divorce mediator for you;
3. You meet with your divorce mediator, bringing the information and documentation they have requested;
4. You discuss and negotiate the issues arising from your divorce over several sessions;
5. You come to an agreement, which your divorce mediator memorializes in a Settlement Agreement you file with the court;
6. If not every issue was resolved in mediation, you litigate the unresolved issues.

How to Prepare for a Divorce Mediation

Gather all of the information and documentation your divorce mediator requested. This divorce mediation checklist helps to get you started. Be sure to disclose everything about your family’s financial situation.

Consider what solutions you want or would be acceptable to you for each issue you seek to resolve in divorce mediation. These thoughts open discussion and negotiation.

Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally to engage in negotiations with your spouse. You may feel some lingering anger or resentment because of the reasons you are divorcing, but you must put that aside to be effective in negotiating. The divorce mediator helps you stay on track.

Concessions from Both Parties

Be prepared to give a little to get a little. The solutions you come to the table with are a starting point for negotiations. Again, your divorce mediator helps you remain flexible and see the positive aspects of any compromise that you reach.

What You Can Expect To Talk About In Mediation

Every divorce is different. For example, couples with children have a lot more to discuss and resolve than couples who don’t. Here are the most common issues resolved in divorce mediation:

Child Custody

Couples with children must decide on a custody schedule and whether custody will be shared equally or by some other schedule. Child custody mediation helps parents work together to create a fair arrangement. If not sharing physical custody equally, couples must create a visitation schedule to preserve the parental rights of the noncustodial parent and respect the rights of the children to have a relationship with that parent.

Child Support

Divorcing parents remain responsible for supporting their children.

Division of Marital Assets and Debts

Most couples have a marital home, one or two motor vehicles, some accounts and retirement, and their household goods and clothing. In these cases, the discussion usually involves what to do with the marital home – sell and divide the proceeds? The custodial parent stays in the home with the children? Or something else?

There are usually other assets such as bank accounts, retirement, cars and other assets to be discussed and divided.

Responsibility for marital debts must also be allocated. This must be done equitably, or fairly.  Debts incurred during a marriage are shared, just as assets are.

Every situation is different, and couples are free to craft their own division of property and debt according to their needs and preferences.

Insurance Policy Coverage

A divorce mediator may suggest both parents have life insurance to provide for the children should one of them pass. In cases where child support is paid, the support obligor should have life insurance in an amount that makes up for the loss of that income stream should they die.

Future Communication with Your Spouse

If needed, couples are able to negotiate how they will communicate with one another in the future. For example, if one spouse is required to work late and cannot fulfill an obligation to pick up the children for visitation, they must text, call or email the other spouse a certain amount of time prior to the scheduled pick-up time.

Divorce mediation is a collaborative process that gives couples the tools to talk with one another, so communications may improve having mediated their divorce.

Any Additional Family Issues

Mediation is the time to raise any other family issues you have, such as how holidays are treated, when and if the children visit with extended family such as grandparents and cousins, when and if out-of-state or foreign travel with the children is permitted.

How Long Mediation Takes

Divorce mediation generally does not take more than several sessions. Your divorce mediator will have an idea of how many sessions you need once they review your information and documents.

For couples with few issues who are ready and willing to negotiate and compromise, divorce mediation may be complete in two or three sessions. Divorce mediation takes longer for couples who have several issues or complex issues to resolve.

No “Winning”

There is no “winning” in divorce mediation. However, eliminating the stress and expense of litigation and developing some communication and negotiation skills should be looked at as a  win.

One spouse must not seek to punish or hurt the other through the mediation process. This is not conducive to successful negotiations.

Ending Your Mediation

Once you have mediated all of the issues in your divorce, your divorce mediator will draft a comprehensive Settlement Agreement memorializing your solutions, which you will in turn submit to the court with your divorce documents.

Speak with a Divorce Mediator at Peaceful Separation & Divorce Today

If you are ready to take control of your divorce, call Peaceful Separation and Divorce today and speak with one of our divorce mediators. Divorce is painful but can be made much less so for all involved if you are open to negotiating and resolving your issues with the help of one of our trained divorce mediators. Call the divorce mediator at Peaceful Separation & Divorce today.