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MEDIATION AS A GOOD ALTERNATIVE TO LITIGATION
Having represented clients in court for forty-four years, I can offer a bit of insight. Concerning mediation compared to litigation, to be fair and balanced, all litigation is not nasty and contentious. The clients, along with their chosen lawyers, impacts the heat in the courtroom kitchen. However, much of litigation, by its nature, is divisive and disruptive. It is also a lengthy process and far more expensive than out-of-court dispute resolution.
I decided to no longer represent clients in court effective January 1, 2025 and concentrate solely on non-court room work with parties (I also mediated disputes for the last thirty years). Mediation is one alternative to going to the courtroom to resolve your divorce, custody, child and spousal support, and other family court matters.
Certainly, not everyone is a good candidate for mediation. A seasoned mediator should “qualify” the mediation parties during the first mediation session to assess their likelihood of success in mediation; it is only fair to the parties and to the process. Why waste your good and hard-earned money in a process that may obviously be doomed to failure from the beginning? It makes no sense.
What makes good mediation partners:
- Honesty and not hiding the ball: The foundation of the mediation process is the honesty and willingness of the parties to disclose all information, financial and otherwise, to their partner and to the mediator. Hiding information or asset/debts is not tolerated. If a party is unwilling to do proceed in this manner, has been dishonest or has hided important information repeatedly during their relationship prior to mediation, that is not a good sign.
- Trust of each party in the other: Again, this is a foundational requirement of mediation. Mediation partners need to come into mediation with trust in the other party that they will be honest and forthright in the process. A low level of trust may make mediation a poor choice. However, there are other dispute resolution models that we can suggest if trust is not high.
- Emotional regulation: Of course, neither party finds the process of divorce mediation easy. Being upset during some portion of the process is expected. However, yelling, cursing, blaming the other party, etc., can torpedo an otherwise viable mediation process. There are times when emotions continue to run high that we might suggest bringing a neutral mental health professional, experienced in divorce mediation onto the team.
Mediating your divorce, custody, support or other family law matter is a far superior way to resolve disputes. If you wish to discuss this or other non-courtroom methods of dispute resolution, feel free to schedule a complementary appointment with us.
